Undiagnosed Mental Illness

And the pain gets unbearable
The hatred irrational
Locked away in a closet of the mind
And you cannot understand
It festers like an open wound
Doubt and Ridicule, Blame and ignorance
The laughing face becomes a mask
When laughter dries up and only emptiness remains
Search for love that is not there
Make it Stop
Make it end
Make it go away





You cannot


And the cycle begins again

Focus degrades
Walls come up
Emotion and Chaos become your world
Logic a passenger in the luggage deck of a plane bound for disaster.


You want to do this
You want to make them proud
but
You can't
And it hurts
It feels like your own mind conspiring against you
It won't leave you alone

No voices
Never Voices

But feelings

And it still won't go away

Lucidity becomes a curse
Why should you want to know how it could be
How it should be

And Hope becomes a poison
When no one listens and no one bothers
The walls begins to form

Dreams become a refuge
A fortress you store yourself within

And emptiness a haven
Suddenly your fortress cannot keep them out

But it does keep You in


There is no hope


Addiction in the void
Manufactured emotion
Words a Narcotic
When nobody cares
And an impression becomes a reality
you realize
suddenly
sadly
inexplicably

That Death is now an option
To make it end
To make it stop
Because if you cannot fill the void










Become it.